


Beyond The Pale

by clionaeilis



Series: Hobbitpalooza [2]
Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-07-06
Packaged: 2018-02-07 17:41:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1907937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clionaeilis/pseuds/clionaeilis





	Beyond The Pale

Alright, so maybe it wasn’t such a good idea putting the fire-eater next to the flea circus, but hey, the jerk hadn't been upfront about his digestive problems, so who knew? A gasoline drenched compulsive belcher was now roaming the grounds and jesus christ, he didn’t even want to think about the insurance liability, or that Mr. Bean would rip him a new one if he ever found out - there was already enough on his mind.

Once again Andy was MIA, Brad was wallowing in self-pity while simultaneously swearing vengeance, and he was stuck in yet another argument where the threat of legal action had been made. He gazed down and scanned the furious man’s face, deliberately slow to respond to the ludicrous gambit. “You’re seriously going to take me to court if I don’t reimburse you for emotional distress, Ethan?”

Ethan’s pockmarked face stretched wide as he over-emoted with each syllable, jerking his body while he gesticulated with abandon. “Absolutely! I’m completely distraught, Henrietta and Hermione were like, my pets, Lenny - no, *children* -“

Leonard quirked an eyebrow at the over-familiar nickname, interrupting Ethan’s spiel, “I’ll cover the cost of replacing the wheel, the cannon, the trapeze - the whole circus set and its props.”

The manager's placid, calm tone made Ethan sound almost rabid,“ - my daughters, practically! I can’t believe they’re gone - I loved them!” His eyes, darting everywhere, had yet to make direct contact.

Leonard didn’t have time for the show, despite the impressive effort. He added, “and I’ll throw in for the card table and that ugly tarp/cloth thing you had on top of it. That’s it. $60.”

“Pierre is irreplaceable! He was my star, he had a real gift!”

What the hell did this guy take Leonard for? Now he was just being disrespectful. “$45.”

“Okay, I’ll take the $60.” Eyes now laser-sharp trained on Leonard, as Ethan realized too late his over-reach.

“That was a one-time offer. What, you think you can hustle me? I should charge you for putting me through the emotional distress of your sorry-ass con.” He had spent too much time humoring this annoying idiot, and was starting to lose it.

“$50?” Ethan’s voice turned into a wheedle. “Or, an access pass for the WoG show, I know you have comps for those?” That was the last straw - nothing pissed Leonard off more than a grifter who didn’t respect the business.

“Get the rest of your stuff and get out of this tent and off the grounds in fifteen minutes.” Leonard’s reputation, not to mention his broad-chested 6’4” frame, supplied the non-verbal ‘or else’.

“Uh okay, it was a pleasure doing busin-“, Ethan cut short his sucking-up when Leonard motioned to a big guy in the corner, a bull of a man with the most terrifyingly tattooed face and body Ethan had ever seen.

“Fang! Get $45 from petty cash for this guy and escort him to the parking lot.” Gerry nodded in acknowledgement of the code word, then glowered at Ethan while flexing his hands into fists as he barreled towards him.

“$45?! I thought - I’m going, I’m going! Don’t hurt me!” The flea wrangler scurried towards the opposite corner to gather his scorched gear.

Out of his victim's line of vision for the moment, Gerry dropped the 'enforcer' schtick, smiling genially as he approached Leonard. "Hey boss - you sure you don't want me to do more than bark at that dude? I got time, my show's not for a while yet."

"No, he's not worth the trouble,” Leonard waved away the offer, “just make sure he’s off-site before Astin makes his rounds," then rubbed his hand down across his face. "I hate to ask, but I don't suppose you know where Andy is?" He peered up hopefully.

The dark tattoos on Gerry's cheeks folded back on themselves as his face broke into a wide-mouthed laughing grin. "Don't know where Andy went, but judging by the burn coming off him, I'd guess Brad found himself another blondie to moon over. He really goes for the Rapunzel look, doesn't he? Whoops, duty calls." As a chastened Ethan moved back towards them, Gerry shifted into drill sergeant stance and pulled back into a full glower. "Let's move it!"

He hustled Ethan towards the main flap, past Leonard who was still absorbing the disturbing news. 'No, not again! They swore to me, the bastards." Gerry's sharp whistle startled him back. As he looked over, who should be sauntering in with a dangerously fixed grin on his face but Andy? The fucker. Catching his eye, Leonard impaled Andy with a basilisk stare. "Tell me you didn't lie to me last night. Tell me Brad's happy as a clam. Tell me you didn't just do something stupid. I want the fucking truth!"

Andy came to a halt, but continued to shift his body as if he was speed-walking, rocking his head back and forth to heighten the effect. His boiled-egg eyes gaped from under his pale brow as he singsonged, "Everything's fine, everything's good, I'm having a most wonderful time, thank you for asking. Must go now. Things to do, people to see, things to see, people to do!" He clapped a hand over his mouth to ape embarrassment, then waved briskly as he started pumping his forearms and legs in place, and mimed going down stairs.

'Goddammit, not tonight!' Leonard moved to restrain the crazed man, but a sudden hard shove to his hip catapulted him to the ground before he reached Andy.

Screeching "What did you do?! What did you do?!" again and again, Brad flung himself full on top of Andy, toppling both of them over in a jumbled heap. He twisted astride his partner and thrashed at Andy's collar, finally shaking him out of his manic stupor. "Did you touch her? Did you hurt her?" he demanded.

Andy snarled in his face, mocking, "Did I touch her did I hurt her? Did she see you, does she know you?" Brad gasped and drew back, his elflocks straggling across his cheek, then backhanded him with a fierce wallop. Absorbing the blow, Andy grabbed Brad's hand and pulled it back to his face, clutching it next to his mouth as he held it under his own palm. "I did what I had to do!" The two men locked eyes.

Leonard saw it coming a second beforehand, but, like a rubbernecker on the highway, was transfixed by the prospect of a gruesome display.

With a murmured sigh, Brad lunged for Andy and planted an open-mouthed sloppy kiss on his mouth, and suddenly both of them were locked in a writhing, moaning embrace. On the ground, in the middle of the promenade, a half hour before the sideshow's stage act went up.

As his featured contortionist and blockhead grunted and twisted through the nastiest romantic reconciliation he'd ever seen, Leonard glanced about and took in the horror-stricken faces of the crowd that had gathered, and lingered. And then he observed a larger crowd just behind, wandering in from the main music stages, out of curiosity. Leonard smiled as he counted heads. Tonight was going to be killer.

He reached down and pulled at each man's shoulders. "Enough, you two have a show to do." Then he turned around, "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to the world of freakdom, get your tickets to see Brad 'Endurance' Dourif, Andy 'Certified' Serkis and a cavalcade of others perform acts even more disturbing than the one you have just witnessed! Show starts in twenty minutes!"

Okay, so maybe Kiran was right - Brad going off his meds every now and then could be a good thing. Assuming Andy hadn't killed or maimed whoever the blonde chick was that set Brad off, it could be a great thing. Leonard pulled them both up, throwing an arm around each man’s shoulder, and the three men walked towards the dressing area.


End file.
